I looked at the moon so incomplete
so very stranded in Gibbous phase
It rushes back her memories,I grope for her face
although never lost,just obsolete
In my balcony with my coffee cup hot
I saw someone amidst the mist,tough to spot
Then I heard a laugh,a voice so shrill
I knew that laugh,it prickled me
She laughed again.yes it was she.
He held her by her waist,fondled her breasts
Gasps grew louder indicating unrest
Another laughter,at something he did hiss
This time he silenced her,but only with a kiss
She held his hand like she had once held mine
Brocken in bits,I deciced to resign
Curosity pulled me back in the night
To see what should've remained unseen;a dreadful sight
I saw darkness give birth to a car
She dropped on the back seat, with him not far
She moaned and groaned
and I was torn
She left me solitary in a November Rain
And another November Rain it was
Nor heaven nor earth,at peace none had been
While still hers,I watched bereft,alone,unseen.
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4 comments:
hi..........
mast yaar or asi hi likhta rahe or mujhe bata rihyo............
I can understand what u r trying to express, yet I dont get emphatic for the piece. I fail to feel what the writer feels. The stuff lacks detail. eg: "She held his hand like she held mine, she could feel his blood rushing, like she felt mine, laying bare,her eyes spoke of the insanity she desired from him, just as she desired from me" or watever suits ur style. To engross sumbody, give him detail. Feed him until he's an addict. I like the ending though.Its elaborated.
contrary to nikunj, i do feel tht i cud feel wat the poet feels...
may be becoz i cud relate myself to it.... but watever the reason, i must concede dat the u seem adept at handling emotions..
look man it is not ur best work
i know u can do bit better,this poem is not expressing u or say u are nt able to express urself.....
.......come on take a mantra
''be simple bt be expressive'' try and use simple words because u seems to be bit confused....bt then i feel u are confused....lolz
dont feel bad grab a pen and rit ur best.
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